The Day of the Doctor – UK Trip: Part 7

N.B. I managed to have an internet signal while atop St. Paul’s, so this post comes via the Golden Gallery.

“The ravens need new batteries,” is what I will always think about when I see the ravens on the green in the Tower of London, with thanks, of course, to Doctor Who. That’s because tens of millions of fans worldwide celebrated the 50th anniversary of the television series last November, and one of the opening scenes of that momentous episode saw Kate Stewart (that’s Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart’s daughter) comment that the ravens seemed a bit slow and that they needed new batteries, just one occasion of countless other occasions where Doctor Who has revealed that not all things (even everyday things) appear to be what they seem to be.

The Tower is a massive attraction to see. It’s not just one tower, obviously, but for the uninitiated: did you know the Tower of London is several towers and several buildings? Well, you do now.

The Tower actually sometimes feels more like a mini Renaissance fair, except without the carts of food, the countless performers, the fake buildings, and the tacky things to buy round every corner.

Hm… I guess it’s actually not at all like a Renaissance fair at all, but it easily could become one. All you’d have to do is add those things it’s missing (well, try to continue to sell nice stuff and not tacky stuff), and you’d have a fantastic Renaissance fair surrounded by authentic buildings throughout the ages.

But that would cheapen the whole thing and would actually be quite disrespectful to some of the more delicate areas where some really terribly sad things happened. So just keep it as it is and don’t even think about turning it into a a Renaissance fair whatever you do. I don’t even know why I even decided to talk about the idea or even make the comparison. Forget I ever mentioned this.

So, anyway… the Tower. As with everything else save the London Eye, it’s absolutely marvelous, one of those things that visitors to London simply must see. And due to the Tower’s sheer size, I recommend arriving close to when it opens, as we spent five hours at the Tower, but sadly missed some key areas because the doors close very early (as with all other places like this) at 5:00 or 5:30 (I can’t remember we for sure). So do seriously plan on spending the whole day here, having lunch here and everything in their cafe that’s within the grounds.

One of the first exhibits you’ll come across is the Coins and Kings exhibition. It’s really a quite fantastic little exhibition, as it’s housing some really rare coins. There are currently some especially priceless coins on loan from the British Museum, requiring extra staff on duty to look after the exhibit.

One of the staff was very friendly indeed, telling us all about some of the especially important coins in the collection, his own coin collection from Tudor times and earlier, and also about some of the history of the monarchy, in particular the Civil War and what led to the re-establishment of the monarchy.

If there’s one thing I noticed about the English is that they seem to be extremely, incredibly, and resolutely proud of their monarchy. The staff we talked to emotionally explained about how Oliver Cromwell didn’t have a clear successor, someone who was as charismatic as he, so they welcomed back Charles II because he was charismatic and they just didn’t know what else to do.

The poor dears! Just a relatively short time later, the wonderful French will manage what the English couldn’t.

So, if there are three things I don’t understand about the English (as much as I ADORE them) it’s: marmite, having beans for breakfast, and the monarchy. There you have it.

Sorry… I seem to be having difficulty controlling my tangents as I write this post…

Um… where was I? Oh yes! The coins!

A wonderful exhibit and a wonderful staff member who was full of lots of stories. In fact, he was full of a few too many stories, as he just kept going on and on and on and on. I thought of “Monty Python and the Meaning of Life” when Death comes for the English and Americans who are dining at someone’s house in the English countryside. They all died at the same time because of bad salmon mouse. And Death tells the Americans to be quiet, and he mocks them, saying something like, “You Americans! All you do is talk and talk, and you say, ‘I wanna tell ya something’.”

Anyway, so in addition to the fact that the English can be loud and obnoxious, too (like the ladies on the train we had the misfortune of listening to on our way from Bath to London), so, also, can they talk and talk and talk. Another stereotype smashed.

Moving on from the Coins and Kings exhibit, we decided to do the Wall Walks, which is exactly what you’d expect from a title like that: a walk on the upper part of the outer walls, which also takes you through several towers. One of the more memorable towers is the lodgings of Edward the Confessor, whose quarters have been restored to what it might have looked like, with elaborately painted walls with green vines and purplish flowers and his separate altar area was done up with a shiny floor of green and red and gold tiles.

As you make your way from tower to tower, you’ll have wonderful chances to step out into the open air, walk along the wall, and take in more spectacular views of the Gherkin (I just love that building) and other newer buildings, such a bizarre contradiction in architecture with ancient and new sitting back-to-back, shoulder-to-shoulder.

Another exhibit along the Wall Walks includes glimpses of old crowns, and while all the jewels and ornaments are removed from the genuine articles, you can still imagine what the crowns would have looked like when fully decked out, including the little crown that Queen Victoria wore with her widow’s veil.

A rather moving exhibit along the walk is a photography exhibit. As it’s the 100th anniversary of the beginning of the First World War, this exhibit took old photos of soldiers training for battle within the walls of the Tower, all photos from a hundred years ago, except done up with modern color versions of the exact same location laid over the black-and-white originals, and then within the original version, modem inserts of someone recreating a pose of one of the soldiers from the old photo. A very touching tribute to the brave men who fought in a terrible, terrible war.

Also around the Wall Walks is an exhibit aimed clearly at the children, a fun little affair where you get to learn about the various animals housed in the Tower (all that remain today are the famous ravens). Kings and queens would compete with other kings and queens by garnering the most exotic animals possible, and some of the animals throughout history had some curious habits indeed, including a monkey who smoked a pipe, of all things! Sadly, many of these animals were mistreated or the caretakers didn’t know how to properly take care of them, and sometimes they were used rather like in the Roman Coliseum: animals fighting animals to the death so humans could watch if for pure enjoyment. Terribly sad…

As I said, today only the ravens remain. And it’s said that should the ravens leave, the Tower will fall and with it the kingdom. Or so it’s said. In place of the other animals that are now long gone are gorgeous, metal statues on display around various parts of the Tower including monkeys, bears, lions, tigers, and an elephant. Do make sure you spot them all while you’re here.

As we finished the Wall Walks, we made for the Crown Jewels, which, naturally, is a must-see exhibit. And the pride the English have for their monarchy shines through in this quite large display of various artifacts. Before you see the actual jewels, the exhibit first acquaints or reacquaints you with the history of the monarchy, and when you come to the part of history that must remind you of the English Civil War, the theme or the exhibit turns from royal purples to dark blacks and browns, and then after the English make the wrong decision restoring the monarchy, the exhibit declares in large letters, “Monarchy Restored,” and the whole affair returns to the colors of royal blues and purples. It’s really quite funny.

It’s very clear, though, that the British ADORE their monarchy, and, alas, that’s one thing about this country that I shall never understand, along with marmite and having beans for breakfast. Still, it’s always fun to marvel at all the ridiculous things they created for them.

Speaking of which, after becoming acquainted with the Royal Family’s long history, you at last get to view the genuine articles of the Crown Jewels. The oldest item in the collection is a golden spoon, made sometime in the 1200s, if I’m remembering correctly and I’m probably not so make sure you look that up, and then a whole bunch of comparatively newer items from the later 1600s (because they had to make new ones following the restoration of the monarchy because the old ones were melted down) including some swords, that scepter thing, that orb thing, and the various crown things.

Following this, you have a chance to view some really quite elegant golden items made for grand feasts following the coronation ceremony including an overly giant punch bowl with an overly giant ladle, platters and plates of all sizes from the overly huge to plainly manageable, and ornate containers shaped like mini churches to hold salt. One of the last things you view are the royal vestments, a kind of long, heavy robe affair all done up in colors of gold and adorned with roses, thistles, and shamrocks.

After viewing all this, it’s difficult not to look at all these things and think, “Honestly! Haven’t they got better things to spend their money on?” in the same way that we Americans waste so much money on our elections, spend way too much on defense, and allocate way too much on expanding the sizes of our roads where it could be better spent on trains. But, oh well. In the same way that I become frustrated with religion, it’s still quite a treat to view all these things that the monarchy inspired, even though I find the monarchy frustrating, too.

Following the Crown Jewels, we made our way to the Scaffold Site, where sadly and oftentimes wrongly men and women throughout history were executed by beheading. At the site is a moving memorial to all those lives lost, a perfectly round slab of maybe about two meters in diameter of some dark stone set into the ground surrounded by a brick walkway that encircles the stone, and above that about a foot off the ground is an elegant circle of glass inscribed with some of the names of those executed here including Anne Boleyn and others, and atop the glass table, as it were, sits a, um… well, it looks like a glass pillow? I was sort of confused by that, and when I have better internet, I’ll look that up…

Still, it’s a really very moving memorial set at the site where so many were executed. The grass, as ever over here, is so green, and to imagine the horrible things that happened at this site is somewhat unbearable.

Across the green that surrounds the Scaffold Site is another green, and upon it sat two ravens. They were so still, and they moved their heads and wings so infrequently that for a moment I thought that maybe some of the ravens really were fake and powered by batteries, but before long they started hopping about the grass, and they proved to be real after all (or are they?)

From here we entered the White Tower where you get to view the Line of Kings, essentially a chance to marvel at the various armor created for various kings over the ages, including armor made for not only 4-year-old princes but also for horses as well. Some of the armor was quite ornately finished with elaborate golden etchings while others were just the smooth, polished, shining metal. Henry VIII’s armor was especially imposing. He was quite large after all, but his armor made him appear even larger still.

Sadly, we were quickly running out of time (which is why I suggest you arrive at the Tower as soon as it opens so you have a whole day to spend here), as the various staff members told us that the upper levels of the White Tower would soon be closing. So, rather annoyingly, we had to speed up and look at things more quickly, which goes very much contrary to how my mum and I enjoy looking at things: much more slowly to admire every single detail of every single thing.

What stuck with me about the upper floor, though, was an exhibit that displayed the chair and gun used to execute a certain German spy called Josef Jakobs during the Second World War. It’s a really frightening setup: a plain wooden chair the poor man sat down in, and in front of that a long rifle on a stand pointing directly toward where his head would have been. To think that things like this still occurred in the 20th century (let alone the horrible Holocaust and then now the horrible atrocities committed by the ridiculous so-called Islamic State today) is all very unpleasant and makes you lose hope in the future of humans.

Alas, we’re out of time. While we quickly gazed at the Traitors’ Gate (that infamous entrance, a pair of heavy doors with wooden frames and bars of metal, the doors half submerged in a small underground channel of green water that leads to the River Thames) we lamented that we were going to miss the torture exhibit in the Bloody Tower, and we missed the Beauchamp Tower and Fusiliers’ Museum altogether. So, another time, then…

We were fortunate, however, to view the Tower at a time when an absolutely touching installation was in progress: hundreds of thousands of red ceramic poppies, each one representing a fallen dead from the First World War, spilling out from one of the Tower’s walls via a net to keep them in place, and then slowly making their way throughout the dry moat, river-like as if a stream of blood gushing forth, reminding us of the sacrifices brave men made during such a horrible time.

If there’s one thing about London, it’s this: not only is it dense with people of all kinds from around the world, it’s also dense with so much history, so much so that I’m having a difficult time keeping up with these posts as they become longer and longer just to parse through the layers and layers of time and history we get to experience with our own eyes and our own hands. It’s really quite remarkable.

So. even though I don’t understand why the British still have their monarchy, or why they like marmite, or why they have beans at breakfast, I still absolutely ADORE them and their countries. I especially enjoy London. In my mind, London really is the greatest city in the world, and without thinking twice and within a heartbeat, should the opportunity arise, I would move here and live here at a moment’s notice. I would. It would be fantastic.

In my next post, beware Autons bearing gifts, as we make our way to Madame Tousauds!

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