“¿Puedo tener una servilleta?” – unas vacaciones en Puerto Rico, día uno

For years and years and years, the only island I ever really knew or cared to visit was a damp, dark, wet, and (mostly) cold one north of France. And thus far, my four trips to the UK have been some of the most memorable and rewarding excursions I’ve ever enjoyed, and I don’t ever foresee a time I won’t return any time soon.

Until recently, visiting islands south of, say, 51 degrees north just didn’t interest me. However, when I would listen to my best friend Amy speak of how much she enjoyed places like Hawaii and Utilla, I started to become more keenly interested.

That said, I generally dislike hot and humid weather (which is why I’m so drawn to northern climates), and my memories of visiting Florida in July have consistently served as an unpleasant reminder of my inability to understand any rationale for living there. On the other hand, when Amy and I visited New Orleans in January some years back, the difference in the climate due to the time of year allowed me to reassess my opinions of visiting more tropical places.

Gradually—or perhaps practically suddenly overnight—it was my turn, at last, to venture farther south than I had ever gone before. And after much debate and research over which island to visit, we landed on Puerto Rico.

While many islands we considered had their own unique allures, Puerto Rico made a lot of sense because it’s easy for U.S. citizens to visit, there’s no currency exchange, we found a direct and inexpensive flight, and there are lots of cool things to see and do on a relatively small island. And so, at long last, here I am with my trusty traveling companions, Amy and Aaron, ready to continue our adventures!

Driving in Puerto Rico near larger cities is similar to driving in any US state, with some differences to note.

Our first day here wasn’t really a day at all (but, as usual, we still managed to make the most of our time when we got here), as our 8am flight left behind the cold, icy, snowy tundra of Minneapolis (our flight delayed 15 minutes due to de-icing the plane) and some five hours later welcomed the modestly warm, hilariously humid (but a cool humid) greenhouse of San Juan, landing at 3:30pm local time.

After an ordeal to pick up our rental car that took way too long, by 6:30pm we finally were on the road to our charming AirBnB outside of Jayuya, a small town nestled in the mountainous central region of the island.

As the sun was setting fast, we needed to make our way to Jayuya pretty quickly, as our AirBnB host advised us not to drive on the mountain roads at night. The roads near and outside San Juan are generally very similar to any road you might find in any US state, except that the road signs are in Spanish and distance markers are in kilometers (but posted speed limits are in miles). That said, drivers drive with somewhat more of a reckless abandon, sometimes not using signals to indicate lane changes. And I still don’t really know if they follow rules for which lane is the passing lane (it’s the left one, apparently).

By the time we got into the mountains, it was quite dark, so we had to use our imagination for the views we’d get to enjoy the next day. The roads themselves are oftentimes fantastically narrow with barely enough room for two lanes of traffic and comically steep as they wind through hairpin turns. It sometimes reminded me of driving in Cornwall, England—roads snaking through corridors of trees and old stone walls, except with the added challenge of the mountainous terrain. We all were enjoying ourselves immensely, however, but I can sympathize with others who might not be as adventurous.

We arrived at our AirBnB and our host’s friend, Jose, was so friendly and helpful. He only spoke Spanish, and you’ll find that no matter how much you study up ahead of time, the real test is when you have to speak Spanish in a real situation. I fumbled to say, “un poco español.” He understood what I meant, but in that moment I couldn’t find the words to say the full sentence, “Hablamos un poco español. Lo siento,” even though I had practiced it hundreds of times at home. But, I do get a kick out of moments like these, and I wouldn’t miss exchanges like that for the world!

Arriving in Jayaya at nighttime, what vistas await us in the morning?

Our AirBnB is so gorgeous, though. It’s a somewhat substantial house for two bedrooms: tall ceilings, large sandy orange tiles adorning the floors throughout, quaint split-pane windows opening outwards onto a landscape we have yet to fully see. But the palm trees that enshroud the house no doubt give us some inkling as to what lies beyond.

We had such a long travel day that was interrupted with fussing with the car rental for far too long, that we were quite hungry, our hearty airport breakfast a distant memory. Much of the countryside closes pretty early, so it was challenging to find anything open at 9am, even grocery stores. So, after much searching (it was quite a joy to drive around regardless as we explored), we had to eat at, er, Burger King. (I’m so sorry.)

We somewhat enjoyed the adventure of this, however, as we got to practice some more Spanish as we ordered, “Quiero un Whopper con un Pepsi.” We ran out of napkins, however, and they were all stored on the other side of the counter. I was able to remember how to formulate the sentence, “Puedo tener un…” but had to look up the word for napkin. (It’s servilleta.) Aaron went to the counter (“Good luck,” I sarcastically encouraged), and it worked! It’s always fun when languages work.

We made our way back up the mountain to our AirBnB, had a quick swim in our pool, and admired the curious sounds of the wilderness around us. There was one particular sound we had never heard before. It was a kind of a sing-songy, high pitched “bo-WEE” sound, the two syllables separated by an major sixth, joined together by an elegant portamento, and then a response separated by a minor sixth in the same fashion.

A quick google search (“nighttime sounds of Puerto Rico”), quickly yielded that these cute little tunes are sung by equally cute little frogs called coquís (the name itself an onomatopoeia of their song, “ko-KWEE).

And so, we retired to our casa enveloped by luscious trees and serenaded by the graceful ariettas of the coquis, ready to begin the next day anew.

Travel tips, day one:

  1. Learn some Spanish, even if you’re staying near bigger cities. I highly recommend Duolingo, a downloadable app on your phone. I worked my way pretty thoroughly through the first two units so that I know how to ask for something without having to think too hard (it’s one thing in practice, though). Reading will come faster, on the other hand, and you’ll be able to figure out road signs, menus, and other signage with much more ease.
  2. Don’t ever use Avis car rental. We had reserved our car weeks ago, but by the time we arrived to pick it up, we first had to stand in line for an hour (not joking) to finalize our reservation, and then we had to wait in a waiting area for an additional 40 minutes to wait for them to bring our car (it was still being cleaned). I could tell the Avis employees were also frustrated, as clearly their leadership needs to do a hefty re-assessment of the monumental failures in whatever non-process the company currently uses to get people on the road. And to top it all off, they have this policy where if your license is void because you recently renewed it (as was my case, even though I had the renewal papers to show for it), they don’t let you drive. I was terribly sad as I always get a kick out of driving in parts of the world I’ve never been to.
  3. Get vaccinated and wear your mask. It’ll just make things a lot easier for you and it’s also just plain considerate in all the names of decency, respect, and care for not only yourself but everyone else around you. Puerto Rico takes COVID far more seriously than even liberal bastians like Minneapolis and Saint Paul. But there should be nothing political about this. It’s safe, easy, fast, free, and you’ll save us all lots of grief. So I don’t want to hear any more excuses. Get the damn shots. All three of them. End of story. Goodbye.

Spanish lesson for the day:

  1. At the very least, you gotta learn the basics for sure: Hola. Adios. Muchas gracias. Buenos días. Buenas tardes. Buenas noches. Lo siento. Disculpe.
  2. The verb queren (to want) will get you pretty far. To say, “I want,” all you have to say is, “Quiero,” and for, “We want,” say, “Queremos.”
  3. The phrase, “No hablo español muy bien,” will also be helpful. It’s better than asking, “¿Habla inglés?” because assuming they do is so presumptuous.

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