The Fancy Dreamy Castle: A Scottish Holiday, Day 4

Today we were off to Edinburgh Castle, which is one of those places that first time visitors to Edinburgh simply must see. Not seeing it would be like not seeing the Tower of London or the Empire State Building.

Approaching the castle, we were first struck by how tall the Castle Rock (the volcanic plug that the castle rests on) was. And then the castle towers above that even ever higher over the entire Edinburgh cityscape. It’s truly a remarkably impressive site.

Climbing up the Castle Rock proved relatively easy, the incline round the side of the rock along Johnston Terrace quite manageable. Eventually you’ll reach a staircase on Castle Wynd West (maybe about 40 steps… I didn’t count) that’ll take you the rest of the way.

As with lots of things over here, the castle itself has a long history. The architecture dates from as old as the 12th century to as new as the present day. The oldest building is Saint Margaret’s Chapel, located on a quite high point of the entire site. It’s a very small, unassuming chapel that leaves little room for even 15 people to fit inside. But, it’s still worth a step inside.

Right outside Saint Margaret’s Chapel is Mons Meg, a giant canon built in 1449 and capable of firing 400 pound canons a distance of two miles. It was used several times during the castle’s many sieges until the 16th century when it was then used for only ceremonial occasions.

At first I thought the Mons Meg was actually some kind of replica because we were allowed to touch it and idiot parents were letting their children climb on it until a staff of the castle told them to stop. But, it really is the real thing! I’d suggest they fence the damn thing off rather than rely on idiots to read signs and expect them to “treat Mons Meg with respect.”

There is so much else to see at the castle, though, that it’s difficult to succinctly cover it all! Definitely check out the Great Hall, which dates from 1511. It’s compete with a wooden roof of huge beams carved with intricate designs, walls decorated with swords, guns, and armor, and the far end is adorned with a giant, stately fireplace. Make sure to view the Honours of Scotland (i.e. the Scottish Crown Jewels), which are the oldest surviving jewels of Britain consisting of a crown, scepter, and sword of state, and used to crown Mary Queen of Scots in 1543. Do step into the Scottish War Memorial, a space of somber commemoration for Scottish lives lost in the two world wars and military campaigns since 1945. (It could be more somber if people would just shut the fuck up while they’re inside such a place.)

Make sure you don’t miss the Royal Palace, which is the birthplace of Mary Queen of Scots’ son, James, who would be crowned James VI of Scotland and then later James I of Scotland and England, succeeding Elizabeth I. And you mustn’t miss some amazing panoramic views of Edinburgh while atop the castle. There’s prime viewing right outside Saint Margaret’s Chapel as well as along the Argyle Battery and an overlook near the War Museum.

Following the castle we made our way down the Royal Mile, which is a, er, mile-long set of streets (actually a Scots mile long… there’s a difference) that connects Edinburgh Castle on the west end to the Scottish Parliament and Holyroos Palace on the east end. The mile is a main thoroughfare in Edinburgh’s Old Town area. We did take a slight detour off the mile for a late lunch at MUMS Great Comfort Food (mmm! yum-yum! pumpkin and sage pie! mushy peas! lager! do go!), but then walked the whole length of the mile to see Canongate Kirk (a quite modest church) where Adam Smith is interred, and, naturally, the Scottish Parliament (a quirky, angular building of some kind of faux steel… or maybe it is real steel bent into a cartoon of a building) and Holyroos Palace itself.

Stray Observations:

1. We did step into the Scottish War Museum in Edinburgh Castle, but my attention span just couldn’t handle much more. (Sorry.) It’s a fine exhibit, carefully curated, masterly researched. There’s just so much to see in the castle that something will no doubt be neglected on your visit, unless you have the attention span of some kind of time-shifting alien. (Plus I kinda get bored in museums. Sorry.)

2. Driving in this city is quite a challenge, especially when your Tom-Tom is malfunctioning. I had to rely on a pre-loaded Google map on my phone (without Siri’s voice directions… no internet, you see) to find my way to the castle and back again. Still, driving here has been an adventure that I’ve rather enjoyed. (Parking, however, sucks terribly and is expensive.) All things considered, you don’t need to take a car into this city, unless you have a 73-year-old mother with you who appreciates the lift.

3. I made one final side quest along the Royal Mile to Saint Giles’s Cathedral. It’s a gorgeous Gothic cathedral, and I happened upon it while an organist was performing some florid toccata using the reed stops. If you’re pressed for time, don’t feel bad if you miss this cathedral, but if you can fit it in, then do stop by.

4. Edinburgh really does feel like and, indeed, is an old city in ways the Glasgow didn’t and wasn’t. (Sorry. I’ll stop obsessing over this point after this final observation.) But, as I’ve said, Glasgow just felt (and, indeed, is) so much newer than Edinburgh, and we Americans (or, at least this American) like to visit this side of the Atlantic for its long, long history and old, old architecture, and Edinburgh definitely delivers on that! It really is a magical, dreamy city!

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